How to Handle Bullying: A Child Psychologist's Perspective | Dr Rahul Bhatambre in Kharghar Navi Mumbai
How to Handle Bullying: A Child Psychologist's Perspective
Bullying can leave deep emotional scars. It’s not just “kids being kids.” As a child psychologist, I’ve sat across from children who silently suffer through school days, and from parents who feel helpless watching their child’s self-esteem break down. Bullying is real, painful, and complex—but it’s also something we can handle, with the right awareness, empathy, and support system.
Step One: Recognize the Signs
Children don’t always say, “I’m being bullied.” Sometimes they say, “I don’t want to go to school,” or, “My stomach hurts.” Look for sudden changes in behavior—withdrawal, unexplained injuries, missing belongings, anxiety before school, or a drop in academic performance. I once had an 11-year-old patient who went from being a cheerful chatterbox to refusing to speak in class. It turned out a peer had been mocking her every day.
As parents or guardians, your instinct matters. If something feels off, don’t ignore it.
Step Two: Open the Door for Conversation
It’s tempting to ask, “Is someone bullying you?” But that can shut down a child. Instead, try softer entry points: “I noticed you seemed sad after school,” or “Has anything been bothering you lately?” Let the conversation flow gently.
One father I worked with made it a nightly routine to talk to his son about “the best and worst part of your day.” This small ritual gave his child the comfort to eventually open up about being teased for his accent.
Don’t interrupt or offer immediate solutions—listen first. Just being heard can be healing.
Step Three: Validate Their Feelings
Children often feel ashamed or even guilty about being bullied. They wonder, “Why me?” Assure them: “What’s happening to you is not okay. And it’s not your fault.” Let them know they’re not alone.
One 9-year-old girl I treated was being cyberbullied by classmates. She believed she had caused it by being “too annoying.” With time, we worked together to rebuild her self-worth and help her recognize the behavior as bullying—not a reflection of who she was.
Step Four: Empower, Don’t Just Rescue
It’s natural to want to jump in and fix everything, but teaching kids how to set boundaries, respond confidently, and seek help is more valuable in the long run.
Role-play can be a powerful tool. Practice what to say if someone calls them names or spreads rumors. Equip them with assertive (not aggressive) phrases like, “Please stop,” or “That’s not okay.” And always reinforce that seeking help from a trusted adult is a strength, not weakness.
Step Five: Partner with the School
Once your child opens up, connect with teachers or school counselors. Approach it as a team—not an attack. Most schools have anti-bullying policies, but communication is key to making them work.
Healing Takes Time
Recovery from bullying doesn’t happen overnight. Therapy, journaling, art, or simply being surrounded by kindness helps. Children need to be reminded that they are enough, just as they are.
As a psychologist and a fellow human being, I can promise you this: with love, patience, and support, children can reclaim their confidence. The shadows bullying casts don’t have to last forever. Let’s be the light that helps them through.
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